Haizzz.....lyfe still have to go on.... *sob sob sob* Y I still can't forget him... y i can't just let him go....y...y...y.... plz someone...plz...plz answer me.... i have never felt this way before... and i have never loved someone this far before.... i love him so much that i even dare to say that i am willing to give my life up juz for him... day after day...im still the same...still thinking bout him n still crying every tyme i smell his polo t.... my only wish for my bday this year is to spend the day with him... but i know its impossible....he even promise to mit me somewhere this week either thurs or fri....but....where is his promise...? he didnt even bother!~ y im still hoping for him....
i came to realise that im selfish....i shudn't have force him to promise me dat he will meet me one of those days....yah i look forward to those days...but i didnt think bout him...is he looking forward too? y i didn't think of it.... i miss him so much...i dun even bother bout any other things...the only thing that is running in my mind...is to mit him...juz to mit him.....juz wanna look at his face.....the face of the only man that i really love....the one that lives in my heart till da day i die..... noone else can ever replace him in my heart...and im sure about that....
Now...i can't sleep.....im going to spend my bday alone...all alone....i took leave but noone is going to spend that special day wif me...im all alone now....im suffering....my life is going thru hell..... hell...hell.... i dunno y im still breathing... my heart really hurts... no motivation and no meaning at all to move on with my life.....
A new year for me....2006....The 1st entry of the year....OMG! apa leh buat kan...no tyme terus tuk update... been in the camp for 6 months.... dah pass out pun takde tefikir bout ni blog....Tul tul dah lama sey tak luahkan perasaan kat ni blog...ini lah satu satu nya tempat tuk luahkan.... apa lah nasib ni....
So far enjoy jugak la wif ma new work.....my dream apa since young...cume hajat nak masuk lepas complete diplome tu jer la terbantut... masuk dengan O level adalah....TP nyer pasal graduate dengan 'PHD' nang bo ti nang! Tapi takperlah InsyaAllah satu hari nak lanjutkan pelajaran kalau takder halangan...
And another dream yang mas nak sangat beberapa tahun dahulu....akan Mas capaikan...InsyaaAllah..... dat is to get my bike license b4 nov/dec .... n get a bike by end of this year....At one time niat tu mas sanggup tepikan kerana sayangkan Dia...tapi mungkin jodoh tiada.....hati terlalu sedih kehilangan Dia....Kenapa masa terlalu cepat...haizzz....me pun dun understand macam mana Dia boleh menyentuh my hati n my cinta.....cinta ni pelik...benar benar pelik...tak kira waktu tak kira tempat tak tau sebab sebabnya.....haizzz selama ni selalu iye iye cakap tak perlu sesiapa istimewa dalam hidup ni.... tapi skrg....tul tul tak rela teruskan hidup tanpa Dia....Kadang kadang terasa rela mati la kerana terseksa......Terasa Dia tu lah segala galanya dalam hidup ni....tak pernah rasa gini....Tapi kenapa bleh jadi gini.... Kenapa kita harus berpisah......kenapa harus terjadi semasa mas dah menaruh harapan yang tinggi.....Kenapa mesti ada pengorbanan dalam cinta kita.... bukan senang untuk Mas berkorban...hati terlalu sedih....terlalu sakit....Tuhan sajer yang tahu.....Sampai skrg mas masih tak dapat terima.....Haiz demi kebagiaan Dia....apakan daya......haizzzz .untuk puaskan hati sendiri...mas akan teruskan niat mas untuk bawak motor....maaf......mas sentiasa ingat pesanan Dia....dan hanya Dia seorang la yang akan bertakhta di hati Mas....tak akan ada yang lain yang akan dapat menyentuh hati dan cinta mas ini....dahlah takmoh berterusan menitiskan airmata....
Aniwae semasa dalam camp ada banyak kenangan kenangan yang manis dan pahit.....nanti i will upload kat blog ni bila free... (",) promise...hahaha..... nak kena install software la....adobe photoshop ker apa apalah tuk edit picturez.....baru leh upload....jadi will take a few days.... soweee!!!!
Haiz....otak tiba tiba takleh fikir la sebab teringatkan Dia...selalu ginilah....kalau teringatkan Dia jer..habis gone.....tak kira waktu keje ker rumah ker kat luar ker...sama jugak! mesti takleh control......haizzzzzzzz kenapa la harus jadi gini..... Tuhanku kuatkan lah semangat aku ini...tabahkan lah hatiku ini.....
I think i will blog again once im ok n when im free kayz...maybe my next nite shift or my off day.... then maybe i will change the settings of the blog sume sekali la..... Gewd nitez everybody.......
Fuuuh!!!! Been more than 4 months i didnt update my blog. I miss taking pictures...chatting... with all my friends.... i miss u all so much......ive been so bz with my own life working :( n didnt even haf time to meet up or even online.... Im so bad!!! sorry...... Finally i got a day off....so here i am updating my blog.... (",)
My life is getting more stressful sey..... I dunno what im doing also....Problems with work?family?friends?love? Think im gonna register myself at IMH la.... wakakakakaka.... I got lotsa problems but im putting on weight!!!! Damn!!!! I dun wanna be like a tong sampah sey!!!! hahahaha put on weight becoz of chocolate n crazee hottis ar!!!! Everyday must eat sey.....Nabeh!~ kwang kwang kwang... i miss that word ar... haizzz i really miss u guys.....but i dunno how to show it.... haizz the picnics... karaoke,ps2,xbox,movie at my home....all the activities....i really miss that happy moments... my life now is damn fucking bored....!!!! :( Im digging my own grave......im always making wrong decisions in my life....
Think this short update will be enuff for now...... I aint got any pictures to update.... So my next update will be the day that im not working.. (",) Muacks! Miss u guys....
Happy new year to everybody!!!!! Im back again!!! hahahaha hope 2005 will be full of happiness n fun for me n u guys out there.... year 2004 have been really suway for me ar...no words to describe my feelings.... didnt celebrate year 2005...maybe celebrate by crying har... remembered the time i spend year 2004 wif dat someone special...but then putus setengah jalan...wanted to meet my frends but they went clubbing so cancel ar...i go my own way ar... jalan jalan wif ajin go suntec...then meet hafiz at city hall mrt...jalan jalan kat esplanade then send hafiz to work....n yah hafiz thanx for ur 7-11 treat...! then took cab home wif ajin...genap kul 12 ajin alight the taxi.. :) n i reached home at 1210am... nuthing to celebrate ar....kinda sad to celebrate...too many things in my mind....
anyway juz reached home...went out at 7++pm meet abang sam at peninsular to return his mmc card..then meet azril,mummy n papa (their parents)... its like their family day n i feel so out sey!! kong asam kan tu dua adik beradik... then jalan jalan la kat sana tengok tengok kasut n watch for mummy.... then gi simpang bedok to makan...n papa paksa me to drive his car...seram sey...kereta orang oi...seram sejuk kejap...nak taknak kena drive ar..papa marah sey...ada ker cakap jangan kurang ajar bila cakap taknak drive...touching kan.... dok dok kat simpang bedok sekali papa said papa rasa papa kenal my dad...bertambah seram sejuk! khakhakhakha dok dok makan bebual bual sampai la kul 11 malam....then papa send me home....lucky got transport..save time! (",)
k la...now im stress wif school...have to retain 1 bloody year in that stupid school sey!!! n now i dunno where to start for my project....n have to submit individual report somemore...damn!~ take care everyone...
harlow peeps!! Im all alone again in this bloody school...! hahahaha waiting for my group meeting at 4 pm!! and i have 1 hour 30 min more to go! And the bloody starhub still havent receive the payment made by my brother! Mendak gila to the max ar when theres no internet connection at home! cant chat..cant download songs..cant surf... and everyday i will just stare at the ceilings and listen to my radio! damn...! now my life so dull sey...boring gila... no words to describe my boringness...my loneliness...hahaha everything ar....
yesterday got to meet my frends...miss u all so much...but didnt get sit till late nite coz haf to rush home... now my second home is GENERAL HOSPITAL! have to go and look and my nenek sedara as she is very very very the weak...
oh yah n bloody hell me! hahaha didnt go for my morning class at 9am!! i dunno y i couldnt wake up sey! and its the class for my repeated subject! im so CLEVER!~ and well i have to jot down every class that i miss so that i wont get debar! haha play safe..! woke up at 10am...went to bank for my mum..buy food for my dad and had my lunch at home...goreng my indo mee ar coz sume kedai makanan tak selera langsung! den took a cab to school coz too lazy to take bus...went for 1 hour lecture only!!! waste of time rite...
i still havent update my new picz...once my internet connection dah reconnect..i will upload all la...and now my lousy camera is under repair..so cant take any new pics...boring....cannot pose pose la...
k la...now i want to surf for my major project... left exactly 1 hour for me to do some research...wish me luck yeah...kwang kwang kwang!
Harlow!!!im back from dunno which space la! Long time didnt log in...didnt even update my blog....my internet connection at home kena cut!!! damn!!! n now im damn fucking bored in school!!!! Im all alone!!!! damn... haiyah this month is damn fucking suay for me.... people around me keep breaking my heart... and i haf to retain for 1 sem juz becoz of 1 stupid fucking subject...haizzz... so i bring forward another subject to next sem..and my timetable for this sem is so relax sey...tapi takperlah kan...can find part time job to kill my time plus earn extra $$$ *wink* but then scared ar ... the major project....!! my otak is so blank... n im so blur like sotong...eeee everything is not right sey... k la dats for now.. will update soon...taking care everyone..im missing dunno wat...kwang kwang kwang...bubbyeeee
Selamat hari raya semua!!! muacks! eh salah.....maaf zahir batin....(",) halalkan makan minum saya... maaf kalau ada terkasar bahasa... menyinggung perasaan sesiapa...maklumlah mulut saya ni cam laser skit...khkhkahahahkha tapi lepas maaf leh buat lagi kan.... buka buku baru...wahahaha... k la... haf fun eh sume collect duit raya.. my saham jatuh tahun ni!! maklumlah dah tua...humph!!! k lah... got took few pics....tapi computer baru format...takde prog tuk edit...so juz put up 1 pic dulu... my own pic kai hp...haha nak bergaya..biasak noh... Jangan ketawakan eh!!! hahahah i know i look dumb...kahhakhaah wateva..will update the pics once my software sume dah install eh.... anyway my stupid camera rosak lagi...idiot kan this konica...! haha waste my time man.....dah tak dapat pose pose....waiting for my uncle to pass the pics (",) k la...taking care semua...!!! muacks!!!
Hey ya updated my picz oredi under PICTUREZ. wahahahaha long time never update ma blog....been so lazy ar lately...true ar people said u will get bored wif this blogdrive after a while..hahaha!!!
Hey ya...dah lama tak update ma blog....Went to JB yesterday with ma sis, munirah and mamat....all kids ha...including me!!! hahahahaha Our purpose gi JB nak gi beli VCD & DVD....hahahaha me n my sis spend $100+++ juz on the VCD & DVD....dashyat noh! beli tak ingat dunia nyer...Then kita go balik ker rumah johor....as usual la me sleep la!!! recently my head ada problem...kwang kwang kwang..but serious la...recently my head asik kena tangkap jer....dunno y ar...banyak sangat dok rumah kot! hahahaha kadang kadang bosan sey dok rumah....asik teringat benda benda yang tak patut di ingat...then each time kluar kalau gi geylang hati berdebar debar....takut sey jumpa orang yang tak patut dijumpa ar.... STRESS tu....eh lum habis sal johor!!! Then lepas kita sume dah bangun tido....siap siap lagi... gi ANGSANA laks...ikutkan si mamat nyer idea la....budak kecik peh idea....hahahaha by right 20 min dah sampai jalan shortcut....sekali banjir ar the road...hahahaha VAN termasuk takleh kluar balik!!!kahkaahkhkahaakha then sume buat 3 point turn jalan la long way....sekali long way traffic peh slow!!!!kita dalam kereta 1 jam lebih sey!!!Tapi at last sampai jugak la ke destinasi kita tu....then kita buka kat Kenny Rogers...ayam dia...fuuuyooh best ar...and the mats kat dalam tu pun cute!!kahahahkhaahka.then hantar la budak budak tu gi main indoor playground kat top level... my sis sengeh sengeh ngan one of the mat yang cute gila....hahahaha gatal noh dia! tapi cute ar....adeq dia kat sini tengok cute tunduk...dia sengeh sengeh! lahabao betul!!! ahhhhh and me jalan kat one of the shop ar apa planet ntah....alamak!!!! the baju seluar bag jacket topi dia sume peh lawar....alamak! bakal ar takde duit.. but i really like their jeans, shorts and t shirt dorang.....next time ma shopping will be at ANGSANA....khakakakkahkaha Angsana puas hati noh...dah lah ma stuff sume kat situ..mat mat cute pun kat situ...kwang kwang kwang...! Then gi cuci kereta....baru lah balik....my sis nyer car dah kena mark! hahaha kesian dier...all becoz of the previous incident...alamak the pakcik really cam cari gaduh wif me sey....gimme a look like... "ur a crook!" sometimes eh..kalau leh eh...nak ajer lawan balik ni setan setan godol...bakal me baik...hahahahaha!!! Then sampai rumah jer...mandi and watch vcd....Berlari ke langir and Effiel Im in love...GEREK!!!!!!hahahahahaha touching gila nyer! tengok sampai kul 4+ sahur sekali....baru tido....puas hati ar beli....tak menyesal....niari lain story pulak...hmmm actually arini plan nak kemas ma bilik...tapi nampak gaya cam malas...waiting for ma two cousins ni.. munirah n mamat..nak watch GARFIELD...hahahaha! k la...kepada sume umat Islam... bukan selam nyer eh....hahaha Selamat Berpuasa yer....Muacks!!!
Name: MaSsIe MaSsIe DOB: 1St OcT 1984 Home: EaSt SiDe Race: InDiAn + ChInEsE!(haha!) Family Members: My DaD, MuM, ElDeR BrOtHeR & SiStEr & Me ThE yOuNgEsT iN tHe FaMiLy!
Character: StUbBoRn & PlAyFuL
What people say about me: My Friendster
